BOXING MATCH BEGINS!!!!!

ANNOUNCER:

Welcome Ladies and Gentleman to the MAIN EVENT!
     (Audience Cheers.)

Fighting out of the top red corner, this vital all-time fighting organ has never said uncle, unless it's to say, "Piss off Uncle Stan!"

Put your hands together for thhhhhhhe BRAIN!
     (Audience hoots and screams. A
     young girl faints.)

Fighting out of the bottom brown corner, this instigating muscle challenger doesn't take any crap unless you eat it!

Don't be mislead, it may take it, buuuuuuut you can't make it digest it!

Scaling in at an amazing average of 20 feet, thhhhhhhhh INTESTINES!
     (Audience boos and stomps their
     feet. Past-Prime fruits and veggies
     fly toward the ring. A grandma
     eating a hot dog throws up.)

You know the rules folks. Last man standing. To the death!
     (Audience stomping builds louder
     and menacing.)

There will be blood. There will be puke.

There will be noxious gas.
     (Air sanitizer canisters are
     handed out to the audience as
     they pull out clear rain jackets
     from under their seats. A little
     boy, ANTHONY, eating a lollipop
     screams as his mother attempts
     to put on his rain jacket. He
     sticks out his tongue and pulls
     her hair leaving her sobbing. She
     gives up and covers herself. 
     ANTHONY smiles and flicks a booger
     at the man in front of him.)

But we all want answered: Will...there...be...POOP?!

STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!

Brought to you by GLADE, TARPFACTORYOUTLET.COM and GEORGE the PUKE BUCKET!
     (Advertisements of each product
     flash on screen in the background.)

Leeeeeets Get Ready to Rrrrrrrrrrrrumble!

DING! DING! DING!