"I'M A PRANCING PONY!" Excerpt from BOOK TWO

EXCERPT FROM BOOK TWO:

"SOME PEOPLE POOP SOMETIMES"

Morning coffee is the TRICK!

I drink it.

It's warm.

And then...

My intestines flow.

At least for the last TWO DAYS

In a row!

I have no idea if this good streak will continue but I will take these last days of evacuation as nothing more than WONDERMENT! I feel so good. I just want to prance!

Me, Henrietta, wants to prance about like the pony I was always meant to be.

I can't believe there is life past constant cramping, bloating, stomach turning, can't get out of bed, too tired to move pain.

There is more to this world. I know it now. And Henri's hungry for that pony!

Ooh, that sounds bad.

You know what?! I don't care!

I'm a prancing pony. I'm a prancing pony. I'm a prancing pony!

I CAN'T KILL THE SPIDERS, I'LL HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO

EXCERPT FROM:

Henrietta James Series

BOOK 2

"Some People Poop Sometimes"

Just suffered another bout of intestinal BS last night.

It's like WWIII was waged but the laxative troops drowned in the ocean of rotting food instead of landing on Normandy Beach.

Meaning there is too much bulk in the intestines and the laxatives aren't cutting the mustard.

I took 5 yesterday.

NOTHING!

Except some flatulence that would knock a hippo  over and I'm not talking pygmy hippo, I'm talking full size here.

Dizzy. Nauseous. Dry heaving. Headache.

Today I'm in bed.

In my new apartment.

There is no Elvis water stain to talk to.

I have SPIDERS! They gross me out totally but I can't kill them. You can't kill the only living specimen that you have to talk to at this point.

Plus, in my current state...they move faster than me.

So, you win Spiders. Tell me, how was your day?